I don’t want to call it a mystical moment, because it wasn’t ethereal enough. But it was close. This afternoon I was low on sleep, standing in line to pay for my lunch at the Divinity School’s coffee shop, and I heard the song: Bend and Break from Keane.

I still don’t know what the song means. Well, I at least don’t know what the song meant to the composer! (There’s a fine difference).

If only I don’t bend and break
I’ll meet you on the other side
I’ll meet you in the light
If only I don’t suffocate
I’ll meet you in the morning when you wake

In such a chorus, the song seems to be in the first person (singular): it’s about me. Is this written to a long-gone lover to whom a living person has to keep living in order to reconnect? (i.e. I have to survive just for the hope of not letting this hope die!) Or is it an admission that I’m weaker than the person I wrote this song to? (i.e. I’ll try to not let you down … just wait!)

I don’t know the meaning for this opening stanza either:

When you, when you forget your name
When old faces all look the same
Meet me in the morning when you wake up
Meet me in the morning then you’ll wake up

Why is the author the cause of awakening? At this point I could [and I guess do!] raise the first movie parallel this stanza prompts: the scene from The Notebook. It’s a touching movie; a hopeful one … an idealistic possibility.

What about another possibility? In many songs invoking the 2nd person, I question whether the conversation extends to a human-God dialogue. This doesn’t work as a human song, however. But what about a divine one?

What if God says this to us?:

Bitter and hardened heart
Aching waiting for life to start
Meet me in the morning when you wake up
Meet me in the morning then you’ll wake up

Unfortunately, the verses don’t work as a possible monologue from God. (Confession: I often interpret these “you” songs with divine parallels even though the original authors didn’t intend so … it’s faithful playtime). Even though the words don’t work as a divine monologue, they work as a dialogue:

[God]:
When you, when you forget your name
When old faces all look the same
Meet me in the morning when you wake up
Meet me in the morning then you’ll wake up

[Human]:
If only I don’t bend and break
I’ll meet you on the other side
I’ll meet you in the light
If only I don’t suffocate
I’ll meet you in the morning when you wake

[God]:
Bitter and hardened heart
Aching waiting for life to start
Meet me in the morning when you wake up
Meet me in the morning then you’ll wake up

[Human]:
If only I don’t bend and break
I’ll meet you on the other side
I’ll meet you in the light
If only I don’t suffocate
I’ll meet you in the morning when you wake

(repeated: a mantra response to the ‘fleeting-ness’)

Even though I’ve used this song on loop as a prayer, I must refer back to when I first heard it Friday at noon. The small speakers cut above the conversations amidst the long line for food. It wasn’t the words … it was the melody … that cut through the clamor. Thank God!

So I’m starting to buy into this whole independent thing. To be fair, I’ve been on the cusp of some breakthroughs for artists/companies/etc “selling out.” It’s been fun. I bought my first Dashboard Confessional CD back with The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most (was that 2001?). I’ve even been a fan of and followed Jon McLaughlin since October 2004; if you haven’t seen it yet, he’s been hot on iTunes for the past three weeks. Hehehe – this is a good statistic: Jon has 8 of my 25 songs most-listened-to in my iTunes (and the minimum barrier is 82 complete plays … and counting). He’s awesome. His “A Song You Might Hear in a Wedding” is my most-listened-to song and has a good 20-play barrier to being surpassed by a song from Wicked.

I have to half-heartedly confess, in spite of both those instances, I’m a big-store consumer. (For a while I used Barnes & Noble’s web store for book orders, but once they discontinued my credit card relationship with MBNA (and hence my benefits minimized), I gradually switched over to Amazon because of the ease-of-use.) In an everyday parallel: why repeatedly pay $1.50 or even $1.75 for a 20oz bottled soft drink at the University’s Food Service vendor (I’m convinced it’s Sodexho … probably) when I can get a 24-pack of 24oz bottles for $7.98? Most often I taper my consumption so it’s a combination of the two.

Ok, enough of my UofC-inspired confession. This afternoon I had a fun, unexpected moment. In the midst of my work stress and post-class pondering was a comment-aside that caught me: “hold on, I have to love this for a second.”

The comment came when I was put on hold in a telephone call. I was ordering a camera part and the supplier had to transfer me to his knowledgeable colleague. Once I reached ‘said colleague,’ he picked up the phone and told me to “hold on, I have to love this for a second.” A comment like that, even with a substantive delay, deserves laughter rather than ire.

Moishe, the knowledgeable colleague, then began to describe to me what was happening. His graphic designer was giving him a proof for a quarter-page advertisement for a magazine highlighting an online community he supports. That same community is one I’m now a part of (it feels so good to say that) and am learning from this summer. “This ad looks so cool, I wish you could see it.” At this point in the conversation I hadn’t said a word. After his uncensored elation, he took my order and repeatedly said how happy he was that things “just seemed to keep working out”. HE KEPT STEALING MY LINE!!!

This is my third interaction with Moishe each interaction has been so professional. He’s a salesperson in a camera outfitter in Ohio. How did I get connected with him? The most amazing blog I’ve ever been a part of! http://www.strobist.com This is more extensive than most books and shows why I’m addicted to Web 2.0 movements. Even with all of Gmail’s “bells and whistles,” Strobist is cooler because it has a dedicated author and an interactive community behind it. It offers advice for how to use off-camera flash techniques for photography. In regrettably simple words: it helps make my photos look less like crap.

I’m starting to buy into this whole independent thing. Strobist is notorious for teaching how to take discarded cardboard cereal boxes and turn them into light-shaping tools. It’s about being cheap … and practical. There’s a mis-identification of (? misnomer doesn’t work here, but I’m meaning: “gross error in attributing”) institutions with effective communications. (I can give you a long list of institutions who suck at sharing their message(s)). It’s also an error to ascribe effective communicators with the label “poster child” or “in-crowd.” Hmmm … these distinctions weren’t as clear as I’d hoped: realize that the efficacy of communication does not have a “tight-knit” correlation of being under-girded by top-down systems — for example: even though Strobist has the structures of flickr and Blogger, if it doesn’t have its users, its communication sucks. With all of my frustration with “systems” and institutions, Strobist is a nice remedy for showing new possibilities. And comments like Moishe’s are the biggest motivators. The excitement is contagious!

One of the annoying truths about creativity and communication:

when you’re ‘on’,
you’re ON!
when you’re ‘off’,
it sucks.

Last night I thought that truth held fast … until I woke up this morning and checked my e-mail. I had several great comments throughout the day from friends saying that the University of Chicago Divinity School Ministry Program’s e-mails I sent out last night were awesome. It produced some excitement. Then came the criticism. Some of the personal e-mails I sent last night got responses ranging from “Ok Adam, that was more than my mid-day 3-sentence reasonable reading length” to “Adam, I couldn’t understand it. Your thoughts went all over the place and even re-reading it didn’t help.”

That response hurt. Exampled in a lackluster set of pictures from an event this afternoon, my creativity and communication skills are in a funk.

Luckily, the desolation gets little chance to set in and ferment. I’m not completely convinced this is a good thing (we all need lows from time to time in order to learn), but my nightly renewal came from the blogosphere. I continuously track (on last count) 55 different blogs. They include topics such as religion, buddies’ reflections, non-profit marketing advice, biblical studies blogs from professors, multimedia and motion graphics firms, advanced photography techniques, and many others.

Here are four entries that are ‘worth’ it on their own, but put together begin to feed off of each other:

First is an entry in CreativeThink called The “Thuban Phenomenon” and has a sermon illustration I know I’ll use in a congregation in 2.5 years. Anyone have a good answer to that? I’m reading John Henry Cardinal Newman, so I’m a little skewed at the moment.

Second, is a site I know I’m going to use in a workshop I’m leading in late August on the relationship between spirituality and technology. A blogging nun, who recently spoke at my school’s ministry conference, put up a link to “3 Minute Retreat”s. Even though this says three minutes, I know it’ll absorb a Saturday afternoon in preparation for the workshop just going through the archives and pulling out gems.

Third, is one of my favorite movements: Church Marketing Sucks. This site rocks. They have a blog entry about church architecture that is awesome. While most churches cannot alter their architecture if their building already exists, there’re still tons of possibilities to make little alterations after this inspiration.

Finally, my favorite biblical studies web blog is in conjunction with my favorite biblical studies website: www.ntgateway.com The administrator, Mark Goodacre (a prof. in Duke’s Religion dept.), wrote an entry on the Seven Deadly Sins in Writing. I wish I’d read this prior to the slew of mid-terms I handed in last week. It would no doubt have helped.